Magazine article The American Prospect

CliffsNews: Back-to-School Cheat Sheet

Magazine article The American Prospect

CliffsNews: Back-to-School Cheat Sheet

Article excerpt

For those who checked out during the summer of 2009, a summary of the news based on what anyone seems able to remember (Note: Not fact-checked)

Central America: Honduras, or a similar nation, deposed its president, who was left-wing, but democratic, except he was a dictator. Then he returned, or at least kept driving back over the border, but could not land his plane, which Obama condemned. Pundits agreed this heralded a new era of hemispheric relations.

Iraq: The surge worked, except for the increase in violence. The United States has left Iraq, although our troops are still there. The prime minister, or president, ran for re-election, so the Shiites were being nice to the Sunnis, except they later intended to kill them, or vice versa.

Afghanistan: The bloody fight against the Taliban continued, and the Taliban became an ally, provided that it was moderate. Media outlets called Afghanistan Obama's Vietnam, or not. The United States regularly bombed Pakistan, or similar places, with drones.

Terrorists: Al-Qaeda released new audiotapes reiterating strong support for martyrs and opposition to infidels. Some experts speculated that al-Qaeda was now small or dead. …

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