Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Ed's Embarrassing Trip for a Wi-Fi

Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Ed's Embarrassing Trip for a Wi-Fi

Article excerpt

My 20p would be on John Bercow remaining Speaker for the remainder of this parliament but should the pint-sized chap be discarded, I hear of a couple of hats likely be in the frame. Two of the three deputy speakers, the Tory Nigel Evans and Labour's Lindsay Hoyle, were described by an informant as circling each other like agitated lions. Declarations of undying loyalty to Bercow are interpreted as further evidence that both covet the top job.

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Ed Miliband was accused of loitering near the gents on the west-bound M25 Clacket Lane services. The geek on a poster advertising free wi-fi is a doppelganger; his office was forced to check with Mili himself before denying it was their leader. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery or, in Ted's case, the first flattery he's enjoyed in seven months.

Frisky Labour hecklers are newly merciless in their mockery of Liberal Democrats, derided as the spawn of the devil for putting Citizen Dave in No 10. Take the case of yellow-belly new boy Gordon Birtwistle, a one-time Labour councillor who now sits as Burnley's MP. A snout recounted what Hansard delicately described as an "interruption" when Birtwistle quizzed Cameron about Libya during PMQs. Birtwistle, nervously standing and speaking with his hands in his pockets, was a cue for schoolboy ribaldry from the Labour MPs Kevin Brennan and Stephen Pound-a Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand double act. What is recorded for posterity as an interruption was, I'm told, Brennan shouting "He's playing with himself" and Pound yelling "He's pleasuring himself"

Cameron advising Birtwistle to ignore the abuse didn't help. …

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