Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Vince's Secret Reforms

Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Vince's Secret Reforms

Article excerpt

Discretion is much prized by plotting politicians, and the clubs of St James's promise a safe haven away from the prying eyes of Westminster. Once through the doors and past the uniformed flunkies, members and their guests are obliged to take a vow of omerta. The standard drill is nothing's seen, nothing's heard. Quite right, too, you may add. And perhaps it was an anticipation of such invisibility that led Team Cable to gather in the cosy embrace of the Reform on Pall Mall. Vince, the permanently agonised Business Secretary, sat surrounded by Ed Davey the employment minister, lost boy David Laws, the economist Vicky Pryce, aka Mrs Chris Huhne, Lord Tim "on the" Razzall and the speechwriter-cum-KPMG lobbyist Neil Sherlock. Vinny evidently doesn't hold the Chancellor, "Boy George" Osborne, in high regard, muttered my snout - and tensions within the Lib Dems could come to trump those between them and the Tories.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

It never rains but it pours for hacked-off Boy George. Just as the fuss over Wankergate was dying down, up popped a former prostitute, Natalie Rowe, on Aussie TV to heap further humiliation on the Chancer of the Exchequer by claiming Ozzy used to snort Colombian marching powder. The Buller Boy of course denies he was ever a cokehead. I'm told Ms Rowe, who was a dominatrix, has in the past made allegations of an eye-watering nature which, if proven, would be more painful for the self-declared wanker.

Sticking with Boy George a little longer, I gather Conde Nast suits were distinctly unimpressed that Ozzy views their glossy Conservative fanzine as what I'm assured is known as a "wank mag" in the publishing trade. …

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