Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

A Spot of Milibother

Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

A Spot of Milibother

Article excerpt

There's a joke doing the rounds: what's the difference between North Korea and the Labour Party? In North Korea, the hereditary communism is in one family With Labour, hereditary socialism has two families--the Milibrothers and Balls-Cooper. Mutterings are growing louder over the stuttering performance of Ed Miliband, with MPs regularly heard discussing how he might be replaced by (depending on who bends your ear) Brother David, Yvette Cooper or Ed Balls. The outburst by Unite's Red Len was a general secretary wondering aloud if the unions backed a loser in helping him win. His isn't a lone voice. Watch this space.

The two Milibrothers at least now speak, insisted a snout. About family matters. Politics, I was told, remains off-limits. I bet Kim Jong-un, the Ed Miliband of Pyongyang, doesn't suffer similar opposition from his overlooked elder brothers, the Kims Jong-nam and Jongchol. The North Korean dictator is able to slam plotters in prison; the Labour leader appeases them with spending cuts.

Either all football players listen to the Today programme or Jeremy "Berkeley" Hunt is universally unpopular. Learning to referee after admitting he knew nothing about the world's most popular sport, the culture vulture was subjected to a volley of the Jim Naughties. If the Old Carthusian had shown greater enthusiasm for sport at school, he'd be familiar with off sides. Charterhouse, Hunt's [pounds sterling] 30k-a-year alma mater, claims to be a founder of what other private establishments sneeringly refer to as the round ball game - Old Carthusians won the FA Cup in 1881. …

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