Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Would You like Milf with That?

Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Would You like Milf with That?

Article excerpt

There are lots of things to worry about when you're a new mum. Is your baby healthy? Will the two of you bond? How much sleep deprivation is required before the hallucinations start? And then there's the question of whether or not you're still sexy, or, indeed, sexy at all (some of us weren't exactly foxy ladies before motherhood set in). You might think you have other things to focus on now, but seriously, this matters.

According to Jessica Porter, the author of The MilfDiet, there's "something almost magical" about the term "milf" ("mum I'd like to fuck"). This is because mummies, bless 'em, are used to thinking of themselves as sexless mingers, whereas "milf" acknowledges that women can--and do--stay sexy, and that mothers can turn heads as well. Hooray! Things are looking up for us mummies. Not only do we get our own rubbish porn, now there's a sexist term that suggests there may be people willing to have sex with us.

I do get the thinking behind this kind of guidebook. It's about self-esteem, albeit in that knock 'em down, pretend to build 'em up sort of way perfected by the women's glossy mags. Porter suggests that "we milfs"--using "milfs" rather loosely, because she doesn't have kids, just a book to sell--"have been waiting for the last two thousand years to get our sexuality back".

That's right, since the birth of Jesus Christ we mummies have been sexual zombies (something to do with the Virgin Mary setting standards too high, apparently). In The Yummy Mummy's Survival Guide, Liz Fraser offers a slightly more considered view, arguing that it's not that we are sexless, it's just that the image of motherhood is: "The dreary, mumsy parenting books available to me left me, without exception, feeling like a highly unattractive, undesirable, lardy has-been, condemned to a life of grime, grudge and goo. …

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