Magazine article Management Today

Smoke & Mirrors

Magazine article Management Today

Smoke & Mirrors

Article excerpt

After a bra lands in Spivey's garden, the hapless CEO's enthusiasm for new technology knows no bounds - until he has a hair-raising experience.

Monday

I started the week with a code red on my phone. This can be one of three things: a disastrous warehouse fire, the share price going up or our CEO taking an initiative. The chances of any of the three happening are fantastically remote so I was hoping for a warehouse fire, which at least would get rid of all the products we can't sell. But no, the alert was an unprompted action by our CEO, the bewigged Linton Spivey. Last year, we set him up with a Twitter account and a few thousand paid-for followers so he could communicate directly with all and sundry. The world has been on tenterhooks for six months but now he's finally tweeted: 'Micro-drone has delivered an unidentified bra to my back garden. Very excited.'

Tuesday

The board is in a frozen state as we digest the implications of Spivey's tweet. What exactly is he excited about? We're hoping it's the bra because if it's the technology, we're stuffed. We're like the German High Command in 1940 waiting to hear what new country Hitler has decided to invade. We all have to follow him with unquestioning obedience (linked to our share options), but Spivey's decision is likely to be catastrophic if not apocalyptic. I've decided that business works better with the absolute minimum of technology and CEO input. Technology doesn't give you transparency; it just shows you more clearly what you don't know, and CEOs show you what they don't know every time they make a decision. Quite honestly, we'd be better served by having a cuddly toy instead of a CEO. It would certainly make PR a lot easier.

Wednesday

Worryingly, there's still no word from Spivey. He doesn't have any children so he doesn't have the domestic technology consultants I'm blessed with. Whatever my slacker son Henry asks for at Christmas, I know our IT director, Mike Lamb, will be wanting for the company in the new year. Of course, he never gets anything because Spivey doesn't know the difference between an iPad and a shin pad. Now Mike's come up with this brilliant new scheme called BYOD, which I initially thought was a new sport diffusion range from FCUK but apparently it means Bring Your Own Device to work. …

Search by... Author
Show... All Results Primary Sources Peer-reviewed

Oops!

An unknown error has occurred. Please click the button below to reload the page. If the problem persists, please try again in a little while.