Magazine article U.S. Catholic

The Way to Teach a Son How to Tie a Necktie

Magazine article U.S. Catholic

The Way to Teach a Son How to Tie a Necktie

Article excerpt

Is to stand behind him in front of a mirror and very slowly Go through the ancient silly ritual: prop up the shirt collar, Drape the tie around the holy squirming lean beloved neck You have seen every day for years and years since the first Moment you saw it peer out of its moist miraculous cavern. Match the ends of the tie so that you don't have it drooping Toward your knees, or the thinner end longer than the thick. Why in heaven's name that matters is not a question we can Answer in any sensible way; it just is. That's how my father Taught me and his father him and so on back to Cuchulainn, From whom we are descended for untold tens of generations. No, the chances are slim that Cuchulainn wore a necktie. Do Not ask me why he did not have to and we do. Then the first Wrap, and then under, and then the other one through. Foxes Chasing rabbits, see? No, rabbits do not wear neckties, that I Know about, although maybe they do on dignified occasions Like this one. …

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