Magazine article The Progressive

Morning Line on the GOP Dark Horses

Magazine article The Progressive

Morning Line on the GOP Dark Horses

Article excerpt

When Pat Schroeder entered the Democratic primary, upping the 1988 presidential field to eight, this exceedingly enormous aggregate was immediately ridiculed as Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Yet, today we hear not one word about Carly Fiorina and the others as Snow White and the Sixteen Dwarfs.

Consider this the Morning Line on The 17 Dark Horses of the Apocalypse. And Down The Stretch They Come!

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal. 50-1. Tends to shy away when bright lights switch on. Needs early stumbles by leaders.

Neurosurgeon Ben Carson. 4,000-1. Maiden race on any track. Not guaranteed to know which way to face coming out of gate. Could scare other horses into energy-sapping sprint.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. 40-1. Bred to like turf. Runs with all the grace of a tumbling dumpster, but has knack to get where he wants to go, and the crowd adores him. Of course, the crowd also adores double-glazed, donut bacon burgers. As does he.

Florida Senator Marco Rubio. 10-1. Fresh spirit stands out in older company. Best chance is to force pace to a Latin beat.

Former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina. 100-1. Outsider's outside shot dims daily. Only filly GOP interested in is Barbara Bush. Not as a runner, but as a dam.

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker. 8-1. Strong finisher but best races could be behind him. Trying hand at marathon distance for first time. May carry too much weight with both Koch brothers clinging to saddle.

Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush. 4-1. Deserving favorite. Only true thoroughbred in field. Burden of heavy expectations could leave him short. …

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