Magazine article The Advocate (The national gay & lesbian newsmagazine)

Editor's Letter

Magazine article The Advocate (The national gay & lesbian newsmagazine)

Editor's Letter

Article excerpt

This is our special issue on queer families and we shook things up by picking for our cover a couple that appears straight. Appearances, as any LGBT person should know, can be deceiving.

What I love about younger folks today is that as they are becoming a label-free or a micro-label generation (some prefer no labels while others seek more specific labels), they are redefining all identities--including how they define "family."

Take our cover subjects, Younger actor Nico Tortorella (who prefers the terms demisexual, or pansexual, but also embraces bisexual) and fitness Instagram star Bethany Meyers, who identifies as gay (rather than lesbian, and despite her relationship with a man). The couple has been together as family for a decade. They're still trying to figure out how to navigate a world that often expects monogamy and rigid identities, but I for one am rooting for them. Can you imagine a hand-some leading man, a love-interest, and primary cast member of a hit TV series, coming out as bisexual 20 years ago? Me neither.

The same is true for Meyers, who claims her space in the queer women's community. I still remember when JoAnn Loulan, the famed lesbian therapist who literally wrote the book, Lesbian Sex, fell in love with a man and was roundly disowned by the lesbian community. Today the reaction might be entirely different.

Of course, family can also mean kids. And nearly every LGBT adult has thought about parenting--even if only to decide it's not for them. If stats from a Williams Institute study are an indication, a lot of us already have kids. My home state of Idaho and our neighbor Montana have the fourth highest percentage (22 percent) of same-sex couples raising biological, adopted, or step children (only surpassed by Mississippi, Wyoming, and Alaska).

As of 2013--that's before marriage equality was the law of the land--the Williams Institute shows 37 percent of LGBT-identified adults had a child at some time in their lives. …

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