Magazine article Management Today

Weak at the Top

Magazine article Management Today

Weak at the Top

Article excerpt

MONDAY

One week to go until Christmas party. Top of mistletoe list is scorching Emily Reimbold from Research who's built entirely from gravity-defying materials. Have tried the legendary Weak charm on her more than once but talking to her is like continually serving into the net. Sense of humour bypass. Will just get totally bladdered at party and let nature take its course. Giles Renton-Willets (weirdo HR Director) popped by with Christmas bonus calculations for my team. Don't know why he bothered. I decide who gets the bonuses based on ability alone (the ability to brown-nose yours truly).

TUESDAY

Brand manager Tim Spears is organising some kind of revue for the Christmas party. Thinks he's a bit of a whiz on impressions. He certainly does a good impression of a pillock. Everyone got note from the thought police (HR department] written by Victoria 'politically correct' Prothero (walking chastity belt). Said inappropriate behaviour will not be tolerated at Christmas party. Can't imagine any behaviour that wouldn't be appropriate at a Christmas party. After work went to gym with Howard and spent a good hour in the mixed sauna swapping techniques for getting kit off totty. Had to stop when some woman came in and sat there naked. Not very pleasant.

WEDNESDAY

Cleared my desk and practised my skit for the revue, great rugby song, Bestiality's Best. Diversity sensitivity guidelines don't mention animals so should be all right with the thought police. Put in a few extra verses about foxes, beaver etc. Should go down well. Had lunch with Bill Peters who was sitting at usual seat in the pub (he calls it benchmarking). He was pretty trolleyed when I got there and told me he intends to keep drinking from now until January to miss millennium completely. Has volunteered to do a trick with a pint of vodka and a pair of underpants for Christmas revue. …

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