Magazine article Black Enterprise

Help Yourself

Magazine article Black Enterprise

Help Yourself

Article excerpt

Q I am the type of person that everyone--family, friends and co-workers--turns to for advice. I like to help people out, so I feel bad when I can't seem to point them in the right direction. What should I do?

--M. Hendricks, Virginia Beach, Virginia

A The fact that you take the time to listen to other people's problems and offer an opinion about them shows that you're a caring, giving person. But perhaps you should consider that you're giving just a little bit too much.

In her book, Smart Women, Smart Choices: Set Limits and Gain Control of Your Personal and Professional Life (Golden Books Publishing, $21), management consultant Hattie Hill speaks to a behavior she calls "carrying," in which an individual takes on the burdens--emotional, financial or professional--of others to his or her own detriment. In doing so, these individuals neglect themselves and stunt their own progress. …

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