Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

LAURIE Taylor

Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

LAURIE Taylor

Article excerpt

A pane of glass separated my feverishly erotic video from the courtyard wedding

The receptionist at my Amsterdam hotel had clearly graduated in catering studies with at least an Upper Second. In less time than it took me to find my passport, she had taken an imprint of my visa, issued my electronic key and announced that the hotel was committed to personal service and that, if there was anything she could do to make my stay more comfortable, I only had to ask. And then, with a faint click of her black stilettos, she turned to face the next guest.

After the hour I'd spent strapped in my seat at Heathrow waiting for baggage handlers to unload a suitcase belonging to one of that growing tribe of punters who suddenly decide, in the departure lounge, that they have better things to do than actually depart, it was refreshing to collect a cold Heineken from the minibar and flop out on my queen-size.

I pressed the bedside television control and learnt that I could enjoy unlimited access to the hotel's explicit sex channel for a modest 17 guilders. Back in England, my erotic viewing is largely confined to sitting around with raucous friends on Saturday night and taking bets on the likely winner of the topless bikini competition on the Men and Motors channel. But here in Amsterdam, it seemed vaguely against the libertarian ethos of the city not to take solitary advantage, at three in the afternoon, of a channel whose slogan so happily proclaimed its total freedom from conventional dramatic constraints ("NO PLOT. NO ACTING. ONLY SEX ACTION").

Within seconds of registering my room number, I was plunged into what initially seemed like an extract from one of those Hans and Lotte Hass underwater adventures where large viscous eels desperately probe for sustenance within the flabby jaws of resting soles. …

Search by... Author
Show... All Results Primary Sources Peer-reviewed

Oops!

An unknown error has occurred. Please click the button below to reload the page. If the problem persists, please try again in a little while.