Predictably Yours. (Sports)

Article excerpt

This prospective peek at the fun and games of 2002 comes with the promise that it will be a better year for somebody, somewhere.

January 2002: Based on their recent antagonistic exchange on Capitol Hill, the World Wrestling Federation signs baseball Commissioner Bud Selig and Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura to stage steel-cage matches around the country.

February: George O'Leary is hired to coach Boise State but is forced to resign five days later because he claimed on his resume that he had never faked a resume.

March: Selig reveals plans to contract the New York Yankees and Arizona Diamondbacks immediately because, a spokesman says, "they are destroying the game's traditional balance." Major League Baseball then reveals plans to contract Selig instead.

April: Tino Martinez replaces Mark McGwire as the St. Louis Cardinals' first baseman and hits eight home runs in his first 10 games.

May: Heavyweight champion Lennox Lewis announces a title defense against former champ Mike Tyson, "provided he promises not to bite and isn't in jail."

June: Tiger Woods adds the U.S. Open championship to his Masters title and suggests that the PGA award him the British Open and PGA crowns "and save everybody a lot of trouble. …

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