Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

The Woman Had "Stuff" on Peter Foster, but First She Wanted a Regular Column. (Now What?)

Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

The Woman Had "Stuff" on Peter Foster, but First She Wanted a Regular Column. (Now What?)

Article excerpt

How do you make friends and influence people? Or to clarify this age-old question: how do you get cushy jobs as quickly as possible by doing as little as possible? From Madonna to Eva Peron, Delilah to Marilyn Monroe, women with fame and power have always been accused of shagging their way to the top tables in life. But don't be fooled into thinking that men have missed this trick. I have a head full of rumours from the Sixties about dashing young actors, many "straight" and subsequently big movie stars, who supposedly chose to bend down in the shower when a gay director or producer offered them a "special" break. Getting famous without suffering in a garret is the name of the game in pop music, acting and, yes, certain realms of journalism, too.

As a struggling young actress, I always envied and hated the round faces tapping pens as I sweated through ridiculously complicated auditions. The more innocuous and unheard-of the theatre company, the more tortuous the audition. So a northern children's company that toured primary schools would expect you to perform not one but two audition pieces lust as a warm-up. Then, if you made the "cut", the real humiliation began.

One afternoon I remember especially well--from subsequent nightmares. First, there were the frigid, toe-curling, impromptu introductions to the rest of the "team", where each of us embroidered our sad little CVs with Archerian panache. Next followed two hours of dashing around a church hail, playing children's games like tag and sticky toffee, as our tormentors gleefully shouted out demands: "Now play on--in the style of a character from Fawlty Towers.. . Star Trek.. . a newsreader...Good, Jocasta!"

Perhaps I had nightmares about this audition because I actually got the part. Leading to the inevitable actor's moan: "You know, I'm too good to be doing this sort of thing. …

Search by... Author
Show... All Results Primary Sources Peer-reviewed

Oops!

An unknown error has occurred. Please click the button below to reload the page. If the problem persists, please try again in a little while.