Magazine article The Spectator

Safer in London

Magazine article The Spectator

Safer in London

Article excerpt

High life

Taki

New York

If I were Jemima Khan I'd make sure mv kiddies spend the coming summer months in good old London, with granny Annabel or uncle Robin if need be, because those clowns back home could be thinking the unthinkable. The facts are that 12 million souls will be vaporised in a jiffy if the holy warriors decide to make real war rather than so-so love. Pervaiz Musharraf is a good man, but he's got as many as 500,000 jihadis in his midst committed to the cause of forcing India out of the sector of Kashmir it controls.

What a mess! For any of you unfamiliar with these chappies, the jihadis are the inheritors of the mujahedin, those ex-nice guys who played dirty with the Soviets for ten years with our help, and then turned even dirtier towards Uncle Sam in particular and the West in general. Mind you, a nuclear war between India and Pakistan would do wonders for the overpopulation of the subcontinent, but - and this is an original thought - birth control would be a safer option. Pakistan trained and armed many of these madmen, employing them in order to wrest control of Kashmir from India, and now the Paki army has a problem. And a hell of a problem it is. I don't care what the so-called experts say or write, there is no way Musharraf and his army -- if it is his army - can neutralise these groups. Jihad has been a part of the defence arrangement of Pakistan for the last 20 years, and I'd like to see any expert - including my friend Imran - explain to me how the army will get rid of 500,000 fanatics eager to have some R and R in Allah-land, virgins included.

See what I mean when I say it's time for Jemima's kiddies to try Ascot, Wimbledon, anything but Lahore and its environs? Patriotism aside, what a hell of a kind of place would condemn a woman to death by stoning for the crime of having been raped?

Anwar Ali Khan, no relation, a white-- bearded Paki judge, followed the letter of the Koran-based law, known as hudood, that mandates death by stoning if a woman produces a child outside wedlock. A 26year-old, Zafran Bibi, did just that, after she was brutally raped by the brother of her husband. For some strange reason, Allah did not foresee such a situation, and because of his negligence a totally innocent victim of rape has to be stoned to death. All I can say is, even Jack Straw would be better than this clown Anwar Khan. Although rape is a crime under hudood, in the land of Imran the voodoo that accused men practise in court makes male rape very difficult to prove. The last man convicted of rape was an upper-class Englishman who tried to kiss his driver, another male. …

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