Magazine article Working Mother

Making Time to Play Catch

Magazine article Working Mother

Making Time to Play Catch

Article excerpt

AS A STAY-AT-HOME dad, caring for three young children while my wife works, I need some help. So once a week, I attend a fathers' support group to check in with other dads who, like me, want to be good fathers. I grew up without a dad, and that absence has driven me to be present for my children. Nowhere did I feel this void more than on the baseball field, where other boys always seemed to have their dads to practice pitching a fastball. So, for me, daydreams of being a great dad for my kids - Lucinda, 5, Lucien, 4, and Lucas, 2 - include throwing around a baseball.

Lately baseball has been sidelined by tennis - the new family sport. I'm on the court most days, and so is my oldest, Lucinda. In fact everyone in the family is a tennis fan - except Lucien. The only thing he's interested in practicing on the court these days is throwing tantrums.

Recently, as I was unloading the kids from the car before one of my daughter's tennis lessons, Lucien lost it - again. And in the middle of his full-out fit that only a 4-year-old can throw, I lost it, too. Shouting ensued as I told the kids to get back in the car. In this moment, I thought my job was to teach Lucien how to behave on a tennis court.

But when I brought the incident up to my fathers' group, one dad asked: "What's underneath your son's crying? What's he telling you he needs?" Defensively, I thought, What about what I need? Like a chaos-fire morning! But after a beat, I said, "He was angry, frustrated and hurt. …

Search by... Author
Show... All Results Primary Sources Peer-reviewed

Oops!

An unknown error has occurred. Please click the button below to reload the page. If the problem persists, please try again in a little while.