Magazine article Chinese Literature Today

Disguise

Magazine article Chinese Literature Today

Disguise

Article excerpt

(ProQuest: ... denotes non-US-ASCII text omitted.)

(When I lick a hole in the paper window this bathroom fills my eyes)

I see a woman

doing some things

She opens her eyes wide lets her hair down

Facing the mirror she uses a sea sponge

to scrub her entire body

as if shaving off her own fish scales

The strange thing is she uses her own hands

to set her head down

Now she paints her own brows

(How can she treat her own body

as if it's formless

How can she dismember herself

as if dismembering a man's muscles and organs?)

Drop by drop the bathroom water

flows out of the room drop by drop

flows downstairs drop by drop

flows into the street

Those trees those bricks

the concrete ground

have already been informed

that my fear-filled love

has changed into fear

and now slowly spills out from inside my body

I will continue loving

and will love my fear When I see

her wash her body clean

then put powder-capsules into her skull

it's as if she's putting white onto her skin

Since she looks brand-new

she becomes more powerful Her demons

her poison her sharpness

return to her body drop by drop

This is how I watch myself

slowly lose yang energy

It flows out slowly

This is how I don't think of saving myself

and continue experiencing pleasure

Until death, I won't be clear

which one I loved:

the bewitchingly made-up one the embodied one

or the you I discovered

after having washed away the poison

. …

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