Magazine article The Spectator

First Step S on Skis

Magazine article The Spectator

First Step S on Skis

Article excerpt

When I was just starting out on the slopes, a slip of a boy with nothing but training skis and a dream, there were a number of issues I wish someone had warned me about:

1. Don't let your mother kit you out The piste is really just a massive catwalk. I look all right these days, but I had to learn the hard way: skiing on a hot day in a puffy bright yellow onesy, goggles and a crash helmet is apt to cause scoffing from overhead chairlifts.

2. Know your limits Stick to the blue runs (the equivalent of a 20mph zone near a driving school) and try to restrain yourself from jumping. If you remember nothing else, remember this: never under any circumstances attempt a black run (the equivalent of the A9 between Inverness and Pitlochry), unless you're sure you're ready. If you're lucky, you might come out with a couple of broken bones; if not, you may hit the bottom at about 90mph and collide with the chairlift queue like a bowling ball. …

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