Magazine article Psychology Today

Life Lessons from the PT Gurus (and Those Who've Taught Us Well)

Magazine article Psychology Today

Life Lessons from the PT Gurus (and Those Who've Taught Us Well)

Article excerpt

IS WISDOM JUST A CUBICLE AWAY?

BABIES ARE OUR greatest prizes and our greatest teachers. This year, the lessons I've learned and relearned come from my second child, Mileva. When she was born, I thought I knew everything about parenting. I quickly realized that in key ways I know nothing. Amazingly, I'd failed to project that my daughter would not be a female clone of my son, that her challenges and triumphs would be wholly her own. I got what everyone gets: the antithesis of a clone- a human being who is sui generis.

Had I listened to my colleagues atPT, this might not have been a shock. Hara Estroff Marano has always warned never to compare your children to each other on any dimension- or to anyone else, for that matter: "They are busy making, and often struggling with, their own comparisons," she warns. "As adults, they will thank you." Ed Levine says something similar: "Try to listen to and see loved ones as though you are meeting them for the first time, so you can appreciate them with fresh eyes."

I'm listening now. "Divorce does not mean failure," says Lybi Ma. …

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