Magazine article The Times Higher Education Supplement : THE

Nobody Likes Us!

Magazine article The Times Higher Education Supplement : THE

Nobody Likes Us!

Article excerpt

In an unusually frank press release, our Deputy Director of Logo Development, Roger Placement, has declared that our university is "not at all bothered" by the news that it has failed to gain one of the Quality Assurance Agency "quality" marks that became licensed for use by universities from the beginning of this month.

Mr Placement points out that the QAA quality mark (a big letter "Q" framed by the outline of a tasselled mortar board) seems to have been awarded to all but two universities in the country (Poppleton and Liverpool John Moores) and is therefore "hardly a mark of discrimination".

"Imagine", the statement continues, "a Preserves Quality Assurance Agency that awarded a quality mark to all but two types of jam. How would that help anyone to decide what to put in a sandwich? And there's another thing. Would anyone trust a quality mark for jam if they knew that the mark had been awarded not for the actual jam but for the successful completion by jam-makers of forms that testified to its quality?"

When questioned by our reporter Keith Ponting (30), Placement denied that his remarks could be construed as "sour grapes". "Even if we had been awarded the QAA mortar board sign of approval," he said, "I doubt if we could have found room for it in our official logo, which already includes a double knife and fork for the quality of our senior common room sandwiches, a golden fire extinguisher for our safety record and an appellation d'origine controlee for the contents of the vice-chancellor's hospitality cupboard. …

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