Magazine article The Spectator

Talking Tough

Magazine article The Spectator

Talking Tough

Article excerpt

If you thought comedy was dead, just imagine Jack Straw as hero! The wimp who chickened out in the Pinochet case is now posing as a tough guy. Mind you, I could have used his team of armed detectives on the night of 8 June 1995. That was the evening when three of our black brethren spotted the poor little Greek boy walking peacefully home towards Cadogan Square. The three large and extremely fit hoodlums jumped me from behind and a very violent altercation ensued. I wonder what Straw would have done had he been near - without his detectives and bodyguards, that is. Something tells me he would have gone to the nearest pub and called the fuzz, which is exactly what a passerby did.

Give any wimp a few armed guards and even Salman Rushdie turns tough. Jack Straw a hero? Puleese, as they say in Brooklyn. Incidentally, one of the two policemen who arrived on the scene following my fight with the Afro-Caribbeans, was black. If memory serves, when I described the attackers' colour it was the black cop who smirked, as in `what else is new?'.

Sir William Macpherson can report whatever he likes - and no one will convince me that his report is not biased and adhering to PC - but the truth is that 99 per cent of muggings of the elderly in central London are committed by young blacks. When I was in Pentonville, close to 40 per cent of the inmates were blacks. What does this say about the black community? Not that you will ever hear the truth from the mouths of lying politicians. Fifty years ago, the Afro-Caribbeans were among the hardest working and most law abiding of people. Welfare, drugs and the ethic of entitlement instead of challenge has turned black society into an endangered species.

And speaking of grievance groups claiming special rights, the architect Richard Rogers, designer of the hideous Pompidou Centre in Paris, and a Tony Blair crony, came up with a good one last week. He pleaded the case of his nephew Mark Rogers, who was caught in a nightclub with 194 Ecstasy tablets stashed in his underwear, asking the court for understanding because of his dyslexic nephew's learning difficulties. Rogers is in danger of giving dyslexics a bad name, among whom is young John-Taki, the apple of my eye. …

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