Magazine article Work & Family Life

Making the Most of Your Child's First Three Years

Magazine article Work & Family Life

Making the Most of Your Child's First Three Years

Article excerpt

Making the most of your child's first three years

Women are told that we can do it all-at the same time-and this has become the standard to which we hold ourselves, even after all these years.

And to which Erica Komisar, the author of this interesting new book, Being There, says "Baloney. Superwoman is a comic book character and as far as I know she didn't have children when she was saving the world."

But Komisar, a clinical social worker, also makes the case that both working and non-working mothers should strive to be present as much as possible in the first three years of their child's life.

Her definition of being "present" is important and eye-opening. She describes it as "the ability to be in the moment and to feel that there is no place you would rather be, no one else you would rather be with, and nothing else you would rather be doing."

Presence, in other words, means removing distraction. So, when you are together you need to be plugged into your baby, not your iPhone. If you are constantly picking up your phone, texting or checking your email to see if there's something interesting to follow up on, says Komisar, your child will feel that he or she is less interesting and less important to you. …

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