Magazine article VFW Magazine

Jest a Minute

Magazine article VFW Magazine

Jest a Minute

Article excerpt

At McDonald's an elderly couple ordered one burger, one order of fries and one Coke with two glasses. When delivered to their booth, the man placed a napkin in front of himself and his wife, then proceeded to divide the fries, cut the burger in half and divided the Coke equally. A gentleman nearby noticed and offered to buy them another burger, fries and Coke. The lady said, "No, no, you don't understand. We've been married 50 years and all our life we agreed to split everything right down the middle." Her husband began eating, she sat with her hands in her lap. The gentleman nearby noticed and asked the lady why she wasn't eating. She replied, "As I said before, we split everything right down the middle, and it's his day to use the teeth first.'

Fred Sloan, Louisville, Miss.

All marriages in which there has been no divorce end when either the husband or the wife dies. From that fact statisticians will determine that marriage without divorce is always fatal.

Arnold J. Lapiner, Trumansburg, N. Y

The bank robber shoved a note across to the teller which read: "Put the money in a bag, sucker, and don't make a move. "

The teller pushed back another note: "Straighten your tie, stupid, they're taking your picture.'

Richard Nosal, Columbus, Neb.

"My, the flies are terrible," complained the tourist. "Don't you folks ever shoo them?"

"Nope" answered the native. "We just let them walk around barefoot.'

Benny L. Knoebel, Port Orange, Fla.

"Why didn't you report the robbery at once?" an insurance agent asked a woman claimant. …

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