Magazine article Work & Family Life

A Better Way to Say What's Really Bothering You

Magazine article Work & Family Life

A Better Way to Say What's Really Bothering You

Article excerpt

Whether it's coming up with something to say to your Aunt Jane when she asks you for the zillionth time why you're not married or dealing with an impossible boss, we are all in need of finding the middle road between stifling our frustrations and losing our cool.

When we are slighted, misunderstood, cut-in-front-of, taken advantage of or otherwise treated rudely, most of us avoid the annoying source of our distress and end up sulking or complaining to our friends and coworkers.

In her new book The Power of Positive Confrontation, Barbara Pachter highlights the common conflicts people face and describes the consequences of not confronting issues or of contronting them negatively. She suggests ways to assess our own confrontational style as well as how to evaluate another person's position and behavior in a conflict situation.

Pachter shows us how we can proactively defuse conflicts without compromising our principles or relationships. The key, she explains, is to behave in a way that is both polite and powerful, and she uses many lively and interesting examples to illustrate this strategy. …

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