Magazine article Washington Report on Middle East Affairs

The Peace Princess and the Frog

Magazine article Washington Report on Middle East Affairs

The Peace Princess and the Frog

Article excerpt

The Peace Princess and the Frog

"The Israelis are bothered by the terror, the Palestinians by the settlements."

--Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, January 1995

If the princess of peace is not clinically dead, she certainly has fallen into a state of suspended animation. And, like beautiful Snow White in her glass casket, it seems the princess can only be revived by the kiss of a prince. Unfortunately, in all the wide world there are only three princes who can do the job. One is Bill Clinton, who thinks princes shouldn't have to worry about foreign affairs, but only about being re-elected. So, despite his formidable reputation in Arkansas, he doesn't waste kisses on foreign princesses who don't vote in U.S. elections, and who might have enemies who do. Therefore he hasn't threatened to halt all aid to Israel if the Israeli government doesn't stop misusing it in the settlements, which is just the same as not kissing the princess.

The second eligible prince is Yitzhak Rabin. He was ready to kiss the princess if Bill Clinton made him do it by threatening to cut his foreign aid. He knew that if he endangered Israel's money line, it could cost him re-election, as it did his predecessor, Yitzhak Shamir. But then he found that Bill Clinton didn't give a lute about foreign princesses. So he thought, "Odds bodkins, if I mess with the settlers I might not be re-elected and, besides, I've got my Nobel Peace Prize, just like Menachem Begin got his. And even after he invaded Lebanon, nobody took it away from him. So instead of kissing the princess, who has lots of enemies who vote in my elections, maybe I'll just build a wall around her and blame the third prince for making me do it."

The third prince is Yasser Arafat, who only recently has been rescued by two of Rabin's alchemists, Shimon Peres and Yossi Beilin, from an evil spell that had made Americans see him as a frog. …

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