Magazine article Herizons

Boys Will Be Men: Raising Our Sons for Courage, Caring and Community by Paul Kivel

Magazine article Herizons

Boys Will Be Men: Raising Our Sons for Courage, Caring and Community by Paul Kivel

Article excerpt

BOYS WILL BE MEN: RAISING OUR SONS FOR COURAGE, CARING AND COMMUNITY BY PAUL KIVEL

NEW SOCIETY PUBLISHERS, 1999, 256 PP

Paul Kivel's latest, Boys Will Be Men is overwhelming. Though, speaking as a father of two male children and a counsellor of abusive men, I found myself grateful to have read someone who is as articulate with such grounded experience with boys and men as Kivel.

Kivel's educational resources are practical and proven to deliver. His interactive, paradigm shifting model, Act Like A Man, is renowned in assaultive men's programming circles.

The social learning model, fundamental to understanding violence against women in relationships, is coherently disclosed. Kivel builds on this theory from a pro-feminist stance. It warmed my heart to read Kivel's swipe at the men's movement: "The leaders of these events often blame mothers, wives, the women's movement, or just women in general for the deterioration of men's lives, which further fuels male anger towards women .... They also give the message that when men get serious, or intimate, or deep, women should not be present."

Kivel's vast experience as an educator and activist is apparent throughout this book. Humble, compassionate, insightful. Allowing room to examine our own weaknesses and strengths as parents. Stripping off the veils of boys' and young men's societal oppression, Kivel encourages young boys and men to think critically, to expose pornography for what it is, to examine class, to fight homophobia and discuss the influences of living in a drug culture. …

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