Magazine article The Spectator

Competition: Hey, Mr Tangerine Man

Magazine article The Spectator

Competition: Hey, Mr Tangerine Man

Article excerpt

In Competition No. 2984 you were invited to follow in the footsteps of Green Day and Moby and provide Donald Trump's detractors with a protest song.

Where's Woody Guthrie when you need him, you might ask. Well, as it turns out, the Dust Bowl Troubadour was well acquainted with the Trump family. Literary scholar Will Kaufman has discovered lyrics written by Guthrie excoriating his then landlord ('Old Man Trump') Fred Trump's racist bigotry.

Billy Bragg has set the bar pretty high with his excellent reworking of that other folk icon Bob Dylan's 'The Times They Are a-Changin' ' but Alan Millard's Dylan-esque entry was well done too and earns him the bonus fiver. The rest take £30.

Come gather around, I've a sad tale to tell

Of a bigot and bully, the bigwig from Hell

With hair like a beaver's tail plastered in gel

But he's only a flash in the pan, man, only a flash in the pan.

He's macho misogynist, coarse to the core,

A groper and grabber of pussies galore

Who claims it's all locker room talk, nothing more,

But he's only a flash in the pan, man, only a flash in the pan.

You Mexicans, Muslims and immigrants all,

He believes he can bar you by building a wall

And it won't be like Jericho's, destined to fall,

But he's only a flash in the pan, man, only a flash in the pan.

He's Putin's prize puppet, a bolshie buffoon

With the farcical face of a comic cartoon

Who thinks he's a guru yet acts like a goon,

But he's only a flash in the pan, man, only a flash in the pan.

Alan Millard

We've seen your tower in NY

About as subtle as tsetse fly

And the lassies shout as you grope each thigh

Donald You're A Loser [Chorus:]

When your words smell high, when your words sink low

Through the ranks of yes-men you will go

From the malls to the walls of Mexico

Donald You're A Loser

With your waterboards and your slaughter eyes

And your private bankrupt enterprise

And the stretchy tissue of your lies

Donald You're A Loser [Chorus:]

With your phoney facts and your tactless tweets

And your vacuum-packaged team of cheats

Each lad and lassie here repeats

Donald You're A Loser [Chorus:].

Bill Greenwell

O Captain! My Captain! Mark well what you have done,

Convinced the people (and yourself) that you are It, The One.

There's more to running government than 'Putin' on the Ritz

And First Ladies should be diplomats behind the teeth'n'tits. …

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