Magazine article The Spectator

Dear Mary: Your Problems Solved

Magazine article The Spectator

Dear Mary: Your Problems Solved

Article excerpt

Q. My aunt lives in a small market town with narrow roads and limited parking. A neighbour opposite acquired a large and gruesome camper van and parked it right outside her front door. The neighbour was polite enough to ask, and my aunt was polite enough to say that, of course, it was no problem. A year later, the van is still parked there. Not only is it ugly, but it is a huge inconvenience, given that the space outside her house is permanently out of use for both her own car and for anyone visiting (e.g. me). Personally, I want to have it crushed it into a small cube and leave it on the neighbour's doorstep, but my aunt has begged me not to say anything, for fear of upsetting the delicate ecosystem that is a small market town.

-- C.L., London SW18

A. Your aunt (or you) must tell her neighbour that she is having a builder in and will need the space outside for heavy goods to be brought in and out 'on and off for a few months'. This should jolt them out of their complacency and make them decide on the camper van's future.

Q. Two of our daughters board locally but often come out for Sunday lunch with friends. We love having them, but these girls consistently ignore verbal and written requests that no wet wipes should go down the loo. Consequently, we regularly have to call out expensive plumbers. …

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