Newspaper article The Evening Standard (London, England)

Diary of an Estate Agent; Real Life: Stretching the Truth on a Pair of Dingy Flats and a [Pounds Sterling]750,000 Ex-Brothel Proves a Hit with a Boozy Couple in Pimlico

Newspaper article The Evening Standard (London, England)

Diary of an Estate Agent; Real Life: Stretching the Truth on a Pair of Dingy Flats and a [Pounds Sterling]750,000 Ex-Brothel Proves a Hit with a Boozy Couple in Pimlico

Article excerpt

Byline: REX CHALMERS

Monday

Was timidly overtaking stationary traffic on my motorbike, when a car up ahead suddenly made a U-turn.

Luckily I was going slowly, but still came off and slid along the road on my back.

Bike scratched, me shaken.

Settled down to tackle first valuation at a dark and whiffy basement flat, with a wildly overgrown patio and only slightly less jungly interior, patrolled by five cats.

Lady owner told me not to worry about treading on a cat as they would move out of the way. Stepped on one that didn't, resulting in accusingly loud squeals. Wish we could write our details like the late Roy Brooks, the estate agent famous for telling the brutal truth. Once Rentokil has been in and the flat completely refurbished, it should be worth about [pounds sterling]325,000.

Tuesday

Took the first of three daily phone calls from an anxious Spaniard selling an [pounds sterling]800,000 three-bedroom house. He needs constant reassurance that it will sell but hasn't helped by hovering around viewers, making them inhibited about opening wardrobes or kitchen cupboards. Taking a couple round last week, he piped up that you get used to the Tube noise under the sitting room.

Tried jangling keys to distract attention, but the damage was done.

Headed back to the office, reflecting on how Pimlico is like Notting Hill without the tourists, and passed a beautiful [pounds sterling]3 million house we sold in Vincent Square. The owners had not only decorated in grand style, they'd installed a Gold Medal-winning garden from the Chelsea Flower Show.

Wednesday

Persuaded a long-term fixture on our 'just-looking' list to view some two-bedroom flats.

For the past six months she has turned down every suggestion because she didn't like the details. She didn't like anything in the flesh either. …

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