Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

Dear Fiona

Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

Dear Fiona

Article excerpt

Byline: By Fiona Caine

Write to Fiona Caine if you have any problems with courtship, marriage or family. Letters and replies (with names strictly confidential) will be published here.

Q When my marriage split up, 18 months ago, I started going out with a man I had known, as an acquaintance, for a number of years. It was pretty steamy for a few months but, perhaps because I was coming on a bit strong, he eventually dumped me. It hurt like hell. I pulled myself around, though, and I am now seeing someone else. We care for each other and are planning to get married later this year. However, last week, I bumped into my old boyfriend again and was surprised when he said that it would be good to get together again.

I told him that this wasn't going to happen. Since then, though, I haven't stopped thinking about him. He really did hurt me last year so why can't I forget about him? A.R.

A This man made a big impression on you at a time when you were clearly upset and vulnerable. It's not surprising you can't simply forget him. You may also be having doubts about getting married. These are completely natural and may explain why you are reviewing old relationships.

That doesn't mean you need to act on these feelings or let this man spoil the happiness you have now found. When you next think about him, remind yourself how he hurt you and there's little to stop him from doing it again.

Q After a nasty bout of illness last year, that left her feeling very shaky, my mother-in-law moved in with us. Although she had had a couple of fainting bouts, I wasn't worried about this. She's only 62 and, other than her blood pressure problems, was otherwise quite fit and I had always got along well with her.

However, since moving in with us it's as though she has lost all confidence. She refuses to go out on her own and gets really panicky and tearful if she's left alone in the house - although she's quite capable of gardening all day if she chooses. She's also started staying in bed all day on occasions when she's "not feeling too good".

This puts a great strain on the family, especially me as I am expected to look after her. …

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