Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

Off the Cuff

Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

Off the Cuff

Article excerpt

Byline: By Richard Ord

Do they do one-size-fits-all wedding dresses?

After months of careful planning, the wedding

plans were thrown into disarray with the

announcement that Futurewife is now pregnant.

I blame myself. And so does she.

A mate of mine once had to suffer the indignity of returning

an engagement ring to the jewellers. A highly embarrassing

and emotionally painful exercise - though he didn't have much

bother getting his cash back.

"She said no" was all he muttered, before pushing the ring

across the counter. The female staff fussed around him and he

left with his cash and what was left of his dignity reasonably


This week I had to take the wedding dress back because she

would never fit into come the wedding day. (I told her to get

one with an elastic waist, but would she listen?)

It was an awkward one to explain to the staff but not without

a bit of embarrassment.

"It's not that we're not getting married, it's just she's getting

bigger and, erm, won't fit into it by the time we get married,

'cos she's pregnant "" I blathered on.

Still, it was another magical family moment.

There are, in life, many magical family moments. I know, I read

it in a Christmas cracker one year.

The birth of your first child; your marriage; your first kiss (not

usually in that order, but if your magic family moments were

in that order, give us a ring, it may be worth a story.)

For me, playing cricket in the same team as my dad was one

of those moments and I love the idea of one day doing the

same with my boy.

Though whether he'll be as keen as myself after his first

encounter with the game last Saturday is open to debate.

Trying to recapture some long lost youth, I've resurrected my

cricket career, turning out for a local second team.

With a couple of games under my belt, the family decided -

since it was a nice day - to pay a visit to the ground and

watch me do my stuff.

Having regaled them of my cricketing heroics over the years

(remind me to tell you about the time I got the West Indies

captain Jimmy Adams out one day) they decided to see for

themselves. …

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