Newspaper article Evening Gazette (Middlesbrough, England)

Paul Frost Column

Newspaper article Evening Gazette (Middlesbrough, England)

Paul Frost Column

Article excerpt

There wasn't much to laugh about as the dark clouds of Black Sunday rolled across Teesside.

But a mate of mine found a silver lining by deciding to con his wife something wicked.

She'd already been up and about that morning but decided to pop back to bed for a long lie in.

At 11am when day became night, the thunder rolled and streetlights blazed, he gently woke up his loved one by pretending to turn in for the night.

"By, you must have been tired pet. You've slept right through. I'm just back from the pub. Goodnight." Yawn, yawn. Scratch, scratch.

She looked at her watch, then outside as he pulled the duvet around his chin. She remembered the morning sunshine and took the bait.

When the penny finally dropped and he rolled around the bedroom in hysterics I gather she took a dim view. Incidentally, he did make it to the pub that night but he was alone. Can't think why.

AFTER 27 years it looks like the 'tache has got to go!

It started life when I was nowt but a bairn. A straggly, wispy little effort, more like a five-a-side football match than a luxuriant example of manhood.

But I persevered and eventually grew something to be proud of. Even after the beard was shaved off with a cut-throat razor as part of the ITV Telethon, the "dead mouse" remained on the top lip.

I never knew my father without a 'tache and I was determined it would be the same way for my kids.

Over the years it's been long and droopy, short and neatly clipped, Mexican, RAF-ish, and once - just for a bet - I dyed it jet black when the odd grey renegade began to show itself.

I've endured taunts of "Porno...porn-oh-oh" from pimply youths in bus stops; been told by The Cherished One that sometimes it's like kissing a hedgehog; tactfully advised by a hairdresser who I suspect is on the other bus that being clean shaven would "take years off you, dear heart. …

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