Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

The Secret Diary of a Demeneted Mother Aged 36.5

Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

The Secret Diary of a Demeneted Mother Aged 36.5

Article excerpt

Byline: By Jenny Lesley

I do so love bank holiday weekends, and particularly when I've just come back from holiday in France and have a fridge full of wine!

The children have been starved of television, computer games and local friends for a fortnight so I confidently expect not to see three out of four of them for most of the weekend.

They will buzz in an out to raid the fridge occasionally - well, frequently - as they have also been starved of what they like to call "real food".

Far from regarding the French as the gastronomes of the world, my children look upon them with a bewildered pity. How I have managed to raise three children with such little ability to adapt to other people's food, I really don't know. I can remember as a child on French holidays finding it brilliant that we could have croissants for breakfast every day and baguettes and pate for lunch.

My lot loved going to the baker's every morning and practising their French and paying with euros. All that was terribly exciting, especially when Emma was complimented on her accent and Carys got a free lolly for them all every morning just because she batted her eyelashes at the lady in the shop and smiled sweetly while lisping "merci" in the most sickly way imaginable. However, having come home every morning with their croissants and baguettes they would pick listlessly at breakfast and then demand highly expensive, imported cornflakes! Then Kieran, who is the cereal afficionado of the family, would criticise the milk, which doesn't taste the same and bemoan the fact that the bread wasn't good for his usual toast and peanut butter.

Emma can't eat baguettes because of her brace, but doesn't like it anyway. Carys had it enthusiastically for the first couple of days but then moaned that it hurt her mouth. …

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