Newspaper article The Journal (Newcastle, England)

Willy Poole Column

Newspaper article The Journal (Newcastle, England)

Willy Poole Column

Article excerpt

Byline: By Willy Poole

They flew me down to Henley for the day. The next question is "Why?" You may find the answer difficult to digest - they wanted a "Celebrity Model" for their fashion show.

Yes, you may snigger now. Any road up - there I was in this marquee surrounded by nubile women in various stages of undress.

One of them gave me a lingering kiss and said that she just loved old men with moustaches.

My minder whispered in my ear: "You do know that she's a porn star, don't you?" The answer to that was "No!" but it did make me think that there might be a whole new career for me out there - in the big bad world outwith The Journal.

My next reaction was that I needed a drink.

They offered me a glass of wine. I said that I could only fly on Avgas, not two-stroke, and could I have a whisky please?

They gave me a bottle, all to myself. Well, I swirled and pirouetted along the catwalk and the crowd seemed to like it.

I came away with some booty in the shape of a new Andy Capp type cap and a kangaroo skin drover's hat and a very reasonable wedge in my back pocket.

As the Dragon Lady will be reading this, I hasten to add that I also came away with my virtue, such as it is, intact - more's the pity - in time to go hunting with the Border the next morning.

Nothing better than hunting to bring you down to earth with a bump and there are certainly lots of those up round Dykeham's Edge.

This brought me to think that I know that there exist photographs of all the steadings on the Ranges before they were all pulverised by high explosive. I would dearly love to get hold of a collection of these, if anyone knows where they can be got. I have seen one of the Ridlees with all the family lined up outside. It was a lovely house in a lovely spot.

It is just a tumble of rubble and a few tattered trees now and seems to epitomise the future of farming and country life in this country - all destined to be blown to buggery by NuLab and Europe. It is high time that we started firing back.

DO YOU snore? Well, snoring can kill you. Perhaps not snoring itself but what it may indicate. A nice steady rhythmic snore is probably all right - except for your bedmate. …

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