Newspaper article The Journal (Newcastle, England)

Never Mind the Policy

Newspaper article The Journal (Newcastle, England)

Never Mind the Policy

Article excerpt

Byline: By Bob Cuffe

And so after our summer recess - well not so much a recess as a binding order - our thoughts turn again to politics. I'm delighted to say that the Clear Blue Water Party has never been in better shape. Physically we remain a shambles, but emotionally we're in the zone.

During the summer the other parties have continued to thrash around. We have continued our strategic planning - some might call it plotting. Others would call it slander, and cheap trashy innuendo. We call it strategic planning. We've been observing the world scene. Some might call it watching a lot of television - but we see it as research.

I've been watching UK Gold, while Paul Dixon - Minister For Geishas - has been scouring Men And Motors. He says it's to enable us to more fully understand the critical influences that significantly impact on both men and motors. I'm not so sure.

At our Strategic Review Meeting we discussed the recent events in California. Paul was particularly encouraged that allegations of groping needn't necessarily derail a political movement. I tell you this as a warning, more than as a political discussion point.

I'm quite taken by Arnie's economic and social agenda seeming to distil down to him simply sticking his thumb up. In a completely unnatural and wooden fashion. Less is more, it would seem.

It's been interesting to observe the number of political figures that have been making themselves - how shall we put it - available. As though they're waiting for a call. As though they're willing to climb into bed with us, as it were. Robin Cook. Clare Short. I feel sick. Alastair Campbell. He frightens me. I think we'll take him.

Labour is now talking about public services. We talk about free alcohol - free at the point of access. The Liberal Democrats are talking. And talking. …

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