Newspaper article The Journal (Newcastle, England)

Willy Poole Column

Newspaper article The Journal (Newcastle, England)

Willy Poole Column

Article excerpt

Byline: By Willy Poole

I am a lunatic. I suspect that many readers have thought this for some time, but I use `lunatic' in its old form, meaning someone who is affected by the moon. I spend the small hours wide-awake and staring at the ceiling, or else I get up and make myself a cup of tea and eat a banana.

This usually sends me off to sleep. For many years I did not mention this to anyone. Eventually I mentioned it to Mother. I was surprised to learn that she had exactly the same problem, as did her mother and her grandmother and as does my brother.

So you might brush the whole thing off as an old wives' tale.

But pause for a moment - the moon has the power to work the tides and that is indeed a mighty power. It also has an effect on the weather.

The moon also affects plant growth, as any old fashioned gardener knows.

You plant things that grow upwards, as it might be peas and beans, on a waxing moon. Things that grow downwards (carrots, turnips, etc) you plant on a waning moon.

If you want good pig meat, you kill your pig when the moon is waxing.

With power like that, keeping me awake is not a problem for the moon. My problem is, why should she want to?

A problem that has nothing to do with the moon is that of drugs. It used to be an urban problem but has now spread out to small towns and even villages.

Friends who work in the City of London tell me drugs are taken as a matter of course, both for recreational purposes and to help people survive the vicious work routine that is expected of them.

I have never taken drugs, outwith aspirin and paracetamol, not to mention modest (well mostly) amounts of tobacco and alcohol.

I have smoked cannabis. I was sent to Amsterdam by a London Broadsheet to smoke pot. It made me feel ill, but I cured that with a cigar, lots

of aspirin and half a bottle of Scotch. …

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