Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

The Secret Diary of a Demented Mother Aged 36.5

Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

The Secret Diary of a Demented Mother Aged 36.5

Article excerpt

Byline: By Jenny Lesley

I'm a great believer in the theory that children show their characters from very early on. Fergus this week has been very poorly with a cough and a cold but he hasn't let it interfere with his cheerful enjoyment of life and his determination to be crawling before Christmas.

He likes nothing better than to pretend to be completely inert and then, when your back is turned, to quickly shuffle or roll to whatever object of desire he has spotted on the floor.

I do scan the floors regularly for things a baby should not be playing with but his siblings follow along behind me dropping all sorts of stuff with careless abandon.

So this week my baby, who gags on anything lumpier than pureed carrot, managed to bite a piece out of a chocolate biscuit left on the floor by Carys. She was furious because she'd only left it there while she popped to the toilet and thought there was no way he could get to it. I was furious as he could have choked on it.

Fergus meanwhile was delirious with joy, or perhaps high on sugar, as he had discovered that not all foods have to be vegetables or fruit. This was a discovery I had hoped he wouldn't make for some time as, in my bitter experience with small children, once they discover chocolate they don't do fruit again for a long time. Sure enough, at every subsequent occasion on which I have offered him his usual gloop he has fixed me with a pointed look that says: "I know there are better things out there you could give me."

So, my prediction for Fergus is that he is going to be a chocaholic rugby player. Emma on the other hand, while equally chocolate addicted, seems destined for a career in staying put in one place, preferably a place with a couch and a TV.

Although she is very fit and if her friends come round she is happy to run riot, it just seems to be family life that reduces her to a monosyllabic square-eyed monster. And she has always been a curious mixture of the inert and the fiery, it just depends on what mood she is in as to which Emma you get.

Carys tends to see the sunny side of life, always expecting a rainbow behind every cloud and quite often finding one. …

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