Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

Man & Bo7y

Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

Man & Bo7y

Article excerpt

Byline: By Jamie Diffley

I should have realised what was coming before it actually came.

If the coiled up stance and wild eyes had not set the alarm bells ringing, the salivating sneer and lion-like noises certainly should have.

But rather than beat what I know now should have been a hasty retreat, I stood my ground. I aped his position, curled up my lip and tried to make the same growling noises that seemed to come from somewhere deep inside this three-year-old little boy.

The next thing I remember is shouting for my Big Sis to "get him off". Or something to that effect.

Never had I seen a child move with such frightening speed. In one movement he had uncoiled to stretch himself to his full barely 2ft and landed with grace on me, knocking me backwards in the process.

Before I could say Childline my arms and face were being ripped at by claws and if I had not mustered the strength to keep his head at bay, I dare say his teeth would have sunk in as well.

No sooner had I removed Lion Boy than his big brother joined in the "fun".

Obviously seeing what a good time Uncle Jamie was having trying to stop himself becoming permanently scarred, he leapt on board and weighed in with fists and feet.

The three of us were like a scene from a cartoon, the odd arm and head popping out from the dust generated by the flailing limbs.

I'm all for youngsters being involved in a little rough and tumble in their formative years but the ferocity of this attack on their favourite uncle (by default of being the only one, I feel I must add) took me by surprise.

How can these things so young, harness enough hate to physically harm me? Are they so quick to forget the good times? The odd bag of chocolate buttons every six months and the pound pocket money to share?

Or are they merely products of society? I've watched Spongy Bob Square Pants and there's definitely an undercurrent of violence there. I'm waiting for the episode where it all kicks off in the Krusty Krab and Spongy Bob is hauled off to the Klink.

I could blame computer games but Puncher and Slasher are too young to get a console for Christmas. …

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