Newspaper article The Evening Standard (London, England)

The Top Ten. Desperately Seeking; Urban Fox

Newspaper article The Evening Standard (London, England)

The Top Ten. Desperately Seeking; Urban Fox

Article excerpt

It's not just those pesky Weapons of Mass Destruction that are proving so hard to find.

It's clearly fashionable to mislay something really important, but carry on regardless-

Paris Hilton's brain. Medical science is baffled: Paris doesn't have a brain. On her reality TV show, The Simple Life, Paris was forced to live on a farm with no credit card or, shock horror, mobile phone. But she did learn answers to her questions: 'What's a well for?' and 'What's Walmart?

Is it like, they sell wall stuff?' Thankfully she never has to work.

Kate Moss's wallet. She may be worth [pounds sterling]12 million but apparently Kate doesn't like to dig deep. She hired a [pounds sterling]4,000a-night penthouse suite at Claridge's for her 30th birthday and partied until 8am with her friends. However, when the bill came to [pounds sterling]6,500 more than she expected, in supermodel style, she refused to cough up. We know babies are expensive, but-

John Magnier's sense of proportion. Magnier is threatening the Man U kingdom over a horse. Since Sir Alex Ferguson took legal action for a share of Rock of Gibraltar's stud fees, Magnier has been buying up the club's shares. Is it to engineer a boardroom coup and force Sir Alex to resign? How unedifying to scrap over horse's sperm.

Chris Evans's talent. There was a time when Chris Evans was the doyen of primetime TV. Things have gone a bit pear-shaped since. His production company UMTV is responsible for the virtually unwatched Live with-, the axed Terry and Gaby show on Channel 5 and the execrable Boys and Girls on Channel 4. It looks like Billie's got the goods in this family.

Abi Titmuss's shame. Standing by your man is one thing, but spiralling enthusiastically down into John Leslie's quagmire of cocaine and group sex is quite another. 'I'm an angel in the courtroom and a whore in the bedroom! …

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