Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

Off the Cuff

Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

Off the Cuff

Article excerpt

Byline: By Richard Ord

The photographs of Posh and Becks frolicking in the snow ( all smiles, carefree, and full of fun ( said it all: He's as guilty as sin.

There's no escaping it, those Golden Balls are in a vice and that smile is just an elongated grimace.

I particularly liked the piggy-back picture of the pair of them. Becks struggling through the Alpine snow of Courchevel with his wife on his back, arms round his neck. You could sense that as soon as the photographers were out of sight those arms would tighten.

If you thought his voice was squeaky now just wait 'til she's finished with him.

And don't hold your breath for the birth of Courchevel Beckham in nine months' time, despite the lovey-dovey pix.

Mr Beckham has done men as a whole absolutely no favours with his dalliance with Rebecca Loos (an apt surname considering Beck's image of a doting family man is fast going down the pan).

Women loved him. He's good looking, rich, talented, a great dad and, most importantly, loyal. Men found him annoying for all of the above.

Following the newspaper revelations about Becks and personal assistant, faith in men is at an all-time low.

"Do you believe it's true?" my wife asked, hoping that I had some inside knowledge that would debunk the claims.

"I suppose it must be?" I offered.

"Men!" was the response. I kept out of her way for the next couple of hours.

To be honest I didn't really care about the affair. What I was puzzling over were the text messages they were alleged to have sent to each other.

The messages were so graphic, according to the newspaper that revealed them, that they had to "heavily edit" the naughty words.

Question is: what were the words?

DB: You need to save all that energy for ****.

What is that four letter word? I'd love to be outraged by it, but I can't for the life of me work out what is being said.

The text patter continued [ETH]

RL: Your tongue ** **** ** ***** ****** then softly on my **** **** *** **** ** ** mouth and u choose from there.

What rude word only has two letters? …

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