Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

Confessions of Lisa Marshall

Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

Confessions of Lisa Marshall

Article excerpt

Byline: By Lisa Marshall

Sunday 7pm - I'm getting ready to go round to my friend's with a Peter Kay DVD when she rings to tell me to shove Peter Kay and let's go to the pub instead.

Normally, I never drink on a school night but it's my 30th tomorrow and I need to commiserate. Also, why is it that, as soon as it broaches summer and the sun is blazing and you can smell barbecues, you want to just go out and get hammered?

I meet the girls in the local pub only to discover it's karaoke night. No, let me rephrase thata it's 'Karajoke' night. Some of these people cannot be serious.

Yet I'm a fine one to talk ( after a few too many you normally can't prise the mic from my hands and I think I sound like Madonna when I probably sound more like Maradona.

Tonight I astound myself and manage to remain firmly seated. After all, I'm nearly 30 so had best start acting it.

My morning alarm for the gym goes off at 6.30am. Stuff that.

I turn it off and pull the duvet tightly round me.

And then it all starts coming back to mea three large glasses of wine in the pub (which I'm sure were practically pints)a Went to Gillian'sa three vodkas (Gillian's home measures, so definitely pints)a Ran out of vodkaa Then what??....Oh god. Stella.

Stumbled home at midnight.

God, I feel rough. Then, just when I couldn't feel any worsea I remembera.I'm 30. And single. And still living with my parents.


If anyone has ever seen the Friends episode where Rachel turns 30, then that's a pretty good likeness as to how I'm feeling right now.

I want to wear my pyjamas all day and stay in my bedroom.

But I've got to get up and go to work. And the only thing that encourages me is the thought that as soon as I'm able, I will be hot-footing it to Maccie D's for my Big Mac Meal which will hopefully sort me out.

I venture downstairs but my parents have already gone to work. And then I spy the pressies! This is the bit I love! I open their card first.

My mother has written a lovely message inside while my dad has put: "You may not feel 30, but you look it". Cheeky. It's your 50th this year Dad, so just you wait matey! …

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