Newspaper article The Journal (Newcastle, England)

One Code I'll Never Crack

Newspaper article The Journal (Newcastle, England)

One Code I'll Never Crack

Article excerpt

Byline: By Bob Cuffe

What are the most puzzling words known to man? I offer my suggestion. Smart casual. I'm attending a conference soon. I cannot go into detail, because of the immense sensitivity that accompanies such events. Let's just say national security, shall we? And leave it at that.

National security and trained killers. I've said too much. There will be hell to pay back at the regiment at Hereford if they find out.

Anyway, the joining instructions contain the words every bloke dreads. `Dress code will be smart casual on the evening, and comfortable casual during the day.'

What the hell does that mean? Why couldn't they tell you exactly what they mean. I'll have to take every piece of clothing I've got. Which, in fairness, isn't a lot, but that's not the point.

To me `smart casual' means Brett Sinclair, with a hint of Jason King. A purple shirt, with matching kipper tie, shoes and cravat. Set against an elegant pair of loons, and a white jacket. …

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