Newspaper article The Evening Standard (London, England)

Let Time Heal Your Heartache; LEONIE FRIEDA'S GUIDE TO LIFE

Newspaper article The Evening Standard (London, England)

Let Time Heal Your Heartache; LEONIE FRIEDA'S GUIDE TO LIFE

Article excerpt

Byline: LEONIE FRIEDA

Q My long-term boyfriend and I split

up two months ago. People keep

saying time will heal the pain, but I'm

finding that I'm feeling worse as each

day passes.

A People are just trying to be kind but

in the end they're usually right. Time

does heal. At first, each moment and

each day seems harder because it takes

you further from your former lover.

Places, food, weather, music, television

and the most seemingly insignificant

phrases remind you of him and take you

by surprise.

The pain can be so shocking that it is

absolutely physical. If it helps, treat each

day for the first year as an anniversary

that won't have to be endured again. New

memories will start to replace the old

ones and eventually your agony will be

replaced by manageable pain, then just

occasional sadness.

I don't believe we ever stop loving those

we have truly loved just because we're no

longer together. Although the pain is real

and hard to process, in the end it will be

part of what made the whole experience

worthwhile.

Q I was walking home the other day

with a very heavy briefcase and

some shopping to carry. Although the

whole thing was a bit of a struggle, I

was managing fine on my own when

some patronising git picked up my

groceries and carried them off the

train for me.

He didn't even ask if I needed help. I

gave him a piece of my mind. He'd

scared the wits out of me; for all I

knew, he was about to steal my

shopping. I am 21, fit and capable and

I consider this sort of interference

bordering on harassment. Hasn't he

heard of liberated women?

A Yes, of course, dear. Next time you

drop something or in a few years'

time struggle with suitcases and

children, sobbing at the pain because

your shopping bags are cutting into your

palms, will you still be a bolshie cow

celebrating your independence from

slavery to men? …

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