Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

Every Minute's a Kick in the Teeth

Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

Every Minute's a Kick in the Teeth

Article excerpt

Byline: By Beth Neil

It's not nice to kick a man when he's down. But every single scene in Coronation Street at the minute is yet another wallop in the stomach for EastEnders.

OK, the quiz show storyline was utterly preposterous, but you can forgive Corrie's scriptwriters a little silliness when they produce such wonderful results.

I will never tire of Karen MacDonald's snarling face whenever she's confronted with Tracey Barlow: when actress Suranne Jones leaves this Christmas, it will be a huge blow for the soap.

The past year in particular has relied heavily on Karen ( who on earth is strong enough to carry the show when she goes?

Let's hope she's given a gripping finale because the other festive storyline on the Street looks set to be a vomit-inducing episode of utter tedium.

Ashley and Clare are gearing up for the dullest wedding of the year on Christmas Day.

This pair have all the sexual chemistry of a couple of thawing fishfingers.

They'll probably spend their wedding night tucked up in bed with a mug of cocoa watching a repeat of Only Fools and Horses on UK Gold.

Over at the Rovers, Charlie was up to his old tricks again. Acting badly, that is.

Bill Ward who plays the Romeo builder is, quite possibly, the worst actor in the soap at the minute ... and that includes Dev, Maya and those Cockney idiot Baldwins.

Just watch him - he can't finish a sentence without hanging his mouth open and wobbling his head for effect.

He's a bigger ham than anything Fred Elliott's butcher shop could offer.

Speaking of which, Audrey popped in this week to get a pound of sausages.

"Fred always says you can't have too many sausages," she told Ashley. "Although looking at him, I wouldn't be so sure."

Yes, I'm sure Fred's had a fair few sausages in his time, Audrey.

Perhaps more than you'll ever know.

OVER in Emmerdale, Patsy Kensit's horse had to be put down after she snapped a tendon.

So now the producers can, literally, flog a dead horse.

Patsy, in my opinion is more wooden than Sherwood Forest.

Emotion? Her crying technique is to cover her whole face with her hands. …

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