Newspaper article The Evening Standard (London, England)

The Top Ten.Adopt-a-Celebrity

Newspaper article The Evening Standard (London, England)

The Top Ten.Adopt-a-Celebrity

Article excerpt

They're not big, they're not clever. Some need a lesson in manners and some just need a little love. Could you offer one of these neglected souls a home?

Hot tamale Penelope Cruz needs to be controlled. Now she wants to get in on the Mother-Theresa-adopting-everyone act.

A need to adopt while you're young, constantly travelling and filming through the night, while dating bongo-playing Matthew McConaughey, seems to indicate that you need a little mothering yourself.

One person who needs a lesson in how to safeguard his piggybank is Ricky Gervais. Last week it was alleged that a gang of fraudsters had attempted to raid his bank account of [pounds sterling]250,000 to buy bullion gold. Although the heist was foiled, surely some kind grownup needs to sit Master Gervais down to explain how he might look after his pocket money?

Sharon Osbourne recently admitted that she still feels guilty about working with rock hubby Ozzy instead of spending time with her kids when they were little, and also for putting them on reality TV. She confessed: 'I don't think I'm a good mum. I tried my best. You learn by your mistakes and I've made terrible ones.' Her new parents will need the X-factor.

All eyes may be on Lizzy Jagger at the moment but let's not forget her dad, Mick Jagger. The original bad boy showed he still has an eye for the ladies when his daughter Jade introduced him to burlesque stripper Dita Von Teese and he couldn't stop staring at her embonpoint. Papa may be a rolling stone but he clearly needs a lesson in manners.

Who was looking out for her when Pamela Anderson turned down Teri Hatcher's part in Desperate Housewives? Pam has launched her own range of dog collars and will star in a new comedy series Stacked, while Hatcher was awarded a Golden Globe.

And judging by her slutty behaviour at the Oscars, this adoptee is still a handful. …

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