Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

Confessions

Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

Confessions

Article excerpt

Byline: By Lisa Marshall

Saturday

At 7pm, myself, Chris and a group of friends set off to a surprise birthday party. Gary's girlfriend, Leanne, has been planning the party at her house for weeks. She sent him to his mother's this afternoon and gave him strict instructions to come back at 7.30pm when she would have a nice steak meal cooked for him. Except he'd pretty much sussed what was going on. The selection of cheeses and nibbles he had found during the week were a bit of a giveaway. And the 48 cans of lager he'd discovered were also a sign. Although I think he was slightly hoping there was no party and they were all for him.

As if by miracle, I decided to take the car and lay off the drink this weekend. I can sense the North East nation keeling over in shock as you're reading this. Perhaps my age is catching up with me but I'm finding it hard to handle hangovers lately. I've decided the drink of tonight is slimline tonic. I'll just keep telling myself that it's a gin and tonic. I'll probably enjoy it so much that I'll never want to touch another drop of alcohol as long as I live. And at 9pm, I'm starting to think that this reverse psychology malarkey really does work as I need no encouragement to sing, (I use that term loosely), on the karaoke. I insist that it's my turn. I don't need to be drunk to make an absolute fool of myself. When I do manage to prise the shiny silver microphone from the others, the bottom falls out of it. It's completely broken. But there's another one and I pick it up. I start my rendition of Atomic Kitten. I tell you, I'm a dead ringer for them. You would swear they were actually in the same room. But no sooner do I belt out the first few lines and the microphone cuts out. I blow into it and tap it a few times. Then the top drops off.

Completely miffed, I take my pet lip into the kitchen to top up my tonic. …

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