Newspaper article The Evening Standard (London, England)

Diary of an Estate Agent; Tortoises Make an Expensive Move, a Porsche Looks for a Home and the World's Worst DIY Job Is in the West End

Newspaper article The Evening Standard (London, England)

Diary of an Estate Agent; Tortoises Make an Expensive Move, a Porsche Looks for a Home and the World's Worst DIY Job Is in the West End

Article excerpt

Monday

Several tenants moved in over the weekend and I was hoping there were no complications.

However, my first call was from an American complaining that the carpets in his [pounds sterling]400a-week Maida Vale flat were dirty when he arrived. I knew they had been professionally cleaned, but I promised to investigate.

At 11am I had a valuation at a [pounds sterling]830,000 mews house, just off Marylebone High Street. I soon realised it would be perfect for Mr M, who was looking for a London home for himself and his Porsche. I measured the garage to ensure it was wide enough and called him to arrange a viewing tomorrow.

Tuesday

Our new negotiator, jangling more keys than a Holloway Prison guard, set off to familiarise himself with our stock. An hour later he called from a smart, portered block to ask if he should be looking at flat D or E; I told him D.

When he returned he confessed he had misheard and tried to open the door to flat E and startled the Japanese tenant. Amazingly, she showed him around the apartment anyway and told him that the landlord wants to sell when she moves out next month, before giving him his telephone number. The landlord was surprised when we rang, but rewarded our initiative by instructing us on the sale.

Mr M and his Porsche made encouraging purring noises over the mews - so fingers crossed. In fact, I felt confident enough to treat myself and the staff to a cinnamon whirl. Who says the days of estate agents' big spending have gone?

Wednesday

There was an apology on the voicemail from Monday's American. He had discovered it was his own removal men who had trampled mud over the carpets, so honour has been restored all round.

Mr M made an offer on the mews; it's a bit low, so I won't splash out on more cinnamon whirls just yet, but it's a start - where else in W1 will he find another immaculately decorated house with a garage? …

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