Byline: TERRY RAMSEY
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
It all goes horribly wrong for the CSI team tonight. Because after a particularly headline-grabbing murder - a renowned criminal lawyer is killed, tied to the back of her son's wedding car and dragged along like an empty beer can - they lose all the evidence.
Or to be more precise, Nick loses the evidence. He puts it in his car and instead of going straight to the lab, stops off at a diner. And while he's in there, his car is stolen.
As Grissom (William L Petersen, right) neatly summarises: "Even if we recover the vehicle, the chain of custody has been broken, so all the evidence has been compromised.
No judge will allow any of it to be admitted in court. Also, we released the crime scene, so it too is compromised. Leaving us nothing to go back for." Double whoops.
So, what does TV's top forensics squad rely on when there's no evidence?
Why, flashbacks, of course.
We get to see each of the team's recollections of evidence-gathering (the most entertaining is Greg Sanders's, who sees himself as a Raymond Chandler-style investigator) and, of course, the case is solved.
It's a very smart, pleasedwithitself episode, but highly entertaining and slickly done, as ever.
World Cup 06
7pm, ITV1 (kick-off 8pm)
Yes, we've got six points and, yes, we're through to the next phase, which is all that matters inside the simple, neatly ordered mind of Sven-Goran Eriksson (I imagine it as a large domed space, totally white, and dotted with pieces of uncomfortable-looking Ikea furniture ... but maybe that's just me).
However, most England fans will be hoping that this final group game is the one where the team get it together and show us what they can do.
And give Sweden a jolly good tonking.
But the chances of that happening tonight are ... well, just about zero.
Sven (right) is not a man for cavalier free-flowing style, even though we've qualified; and Sweden will be battling for a win to secure their own place in the next round. Besides, England-Sweden games nearly always end as boring draws. We haven't beaten them for an astonishing 38 years.
On the other hand, we might not actually want a win. By the time this match kicks off, we will know the result of Germany's game against Ecuador (ko 3pm) and what has to be done to avoid a next-round meeting with the old enemy - which may mean something less than victory.
Steve Rider and his amazing hair are presenting, and Terry Venables, Sam Allardyce and Stuart Pearce get to wear the silly microphones and perch on those uncomfortable looking stools. …