Newspaper article The Florida Times Union

Much Thought Can Go into Naming a Boat

Newspaper article The Florida Times Union

Much Thought Can Go into Naming a Boat

Article excerpt

Byline: Mark Woods

I don't want to own a boat. But I would like to name one.

I like the tradition that dates back to ancient Egypt when, I believe, a boat owner painted on the back of his vessel "Denial IS A River." Or something like that.

I do have a kayak. And it doesn't have a name. So to get some ideas, I headed out to the BellSouth Greater Jacksonville Kingfish Tournament.

I have friends who spent more time picking names for their boats than they did for their children. And the old joke is that this makes sense. Your children aren't going to walk around with their name plastered on their rear ends.

On Thursday, the early leaders hauled in a 52-pound king. Never mind what bait they used. All I needed to know was Capt. Chris Stephens' boat name: Beer Money.

Some boat names are inside jokes. Bob Brindle, the tournament chairman last year, has one named Not Exactly.

"When we bought the boat, it didn't have exactly everything we wanted on it," he explained.

Some boats play off a family name (Price's Right) or spouse's name (Victoria's Secret). Robin Doering has a boat named Rockin' Robin. And when he brings the boat into port, they crank up ... Rockin' Robin.

There are some real popular names in the tournament. Or should I say "reel" popular. Especially in this event, that's a common starting point. Reel Damages, Reel Broke, Reel Pole-Tential, Reel Jobsite.

Some names play off their owner's work: Full Coverage (an insurance agent), House Hunter (a real estate agent) and Exterminader (pest exterminator Randy Nader).

Many play off their owner's goal of getting away from work.

One boat has a name that made my 4-year-old giggle uncontrollably: Stinkysaurus.

Some names remind that owning a boat isn't cheap: College Fund, Cash Cow and Debt Finder. …

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