Newspaper article The Florida Times Union

READERS' CHOICE; Top 10 Funny Crime Stories Botched Thefts and Bad Excuses Helped Police Catch These Criminals

Newspaper article The Florida Times Union

READERS' CHOICE; Top 10 Funny Crime Stories Botched Thefts and Bad Excuses Helped Police Catch These Criminals

Article excerpt

Last week, the Times-Union gave readers a sampling of the not-so-savvy criminals wandering First Coast streets. Now you've chimed in to vote for your favorites. With 1,643 votes recorded on Jacksonville.com, here are the results:

439 VOTES

PANTS OFF, DANCE OFF

ON SEPT. 28 a 25-year-old met with his probation officer to take a urine test that would tell if there were any drugs in his system. But the officer got suspicious when the man appeared to be "doing a dance." Further inspection revealed a fake penis in his pants loaded with diluted pee.

395 VOTES

NOT A PICTURE OF SOBRIETY

ON SEPT. 13 police were investigating a crash when one of the motorists involved got out her camera phone and asked a sergeant if she could take photos. He said yes. Then she used the camera backwards, taking pictures of herself instead of the vehicles. He asked her if she was getting good shots. She said no, but kept snapping away. Soon police were clicking cuffs on the suspected drunk driver.

201 VOTES

SUNK BY THE CELL

ON NOV. 7 police stopped a man in an area where they were investigating a shooting. He gave an officer a phony name and said he didn't have a home or cell phone number. Then something in his front pocket started to ring. Police found his cell and charged the 31-year-old with giving false information to an officer in a felony investigation.

181 VOTES

BROTHER, WILL YOU HOLD MY PIPE?

ON APRIL 30 a 76-year-old man on his way into the Duval County Courthouse lined up for the usual security checks. But officers saw something unusual when he emptied his pockets: a crack pipe. When police arrested him, the man said he knew what it was but he had an excuse. It was his sister's.

153 VOTES

NO HIDING HE'S A BAD SHOT

ON AUG. 12 a 19-year-old shot himself in the leg and tried to blame it on a drive-by. …

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